If You're in a Relationship in Your 20s—This Letter Is for You

Dear reader,

In your 20s, love hits differently.

It’s not the teenage butterflies anymore. It’s not about texting all night or trying to look like the “perfect couple” on social media. When you’re in this stage of life — when you’re still becoming who you’re meant to be, love should feel like a partnership, not a performance.

This is the time when your career is fragile, your dreams are still forming, and your identity is constantly shifting. And in this chaos, you don’t need a partner who adds confusion. You need someone who brings clarity.

If you’re already in a relationship, ask yourself this:

Does your partner understand what you're trying to build?
Do they listen when you talk about your goals?
Do they give you the space to grow even when it’s uncomfortable?
Do they make you feel seen, supported, and safe to fail?

Because if they do, you’ve got something rare. Something powerful.

But if they don’t, if the relationship constantly pulls you away from your path, drains your energy, or leaves you feeling guilty for focusing on your growth it’s time for a deeper conversation. Sometimes, love isn’t enough. Alignment is.

Here’s the truth:
You can’t grow deeply in life if your relationship is shallow.

You deserve someone who pushes you to keep going when things get hard. Someone who sees your rough drafts and still believes in the final version of you. Someone who’s not intimidated by your ambition, but inspired by it.

And you have to be that person too.

Love is not just about finding “the one.”
It’s about becoming the right one for someone else.

It means learning to communicate, to compromise, to support even when you’re tired. It means showing up on the days when the world feels heavy. It means learning together whether it’s how to manage money, how to navigate stress, or how to just be present with each other.

So here’s my advice:

• Build skills together. Take a class. Watch documentaries. Read the same book. Grow intellectually as a couple not just emotionally.

• Make time to plan your future. Don’t just talk about dates. Talk about the life you want to build in five or ten years. Talk about values, not just vibes.

• Prioritize inner peace over public display. You don’t need to prove your love to the world. Prove it in the little things like listening without distraction, supporting without judgment, and loving without ego.

• Let go of material validation. Expensive gifts and aesthetic dates are nice, but they’re not the foundation of real love. The real gift is someone who understands your silence, supports your ambition, and celebrates your growth.

And if you’re still single don’t chase love just to feel complete.

Chase clarity. Chase alignment. Chase someone who fits into your growth not your insecurity.

Find a partner who doesn’t just say, “I love you,” but also says, “I believe in you.”
Someone who’s not threatened by your evolution, but contributes to it.

Because real love in your 20s isn’t a distraction.
It’s a co-founder of your future.

Protect your energy. Choose wisely.
And remember: love isn’t built on possessions, it’s built on purpose.
Because a couple who can share knowledge, challenge each other’s minds, and grow through wisdom together that’s the real luxury.